Best Dirty Pickup Lines

dirty pickup line

The Art of Meeting People with Best Dirty Pickup Lines

In the wild world of dating and socializing, one skill that’s often overlooked is the ability to break the ice with humor. Enter the hilarious Dirty Pickup Line, your secret weapon to charm your way into delightful conversations. In this article, we’ll explore the benefits of using dirty pickup lines, what to do if they don’t quite land as expected, and share a few hilarious examples to get you started.

Dirty Pickup Lines are best used and most effective once you’ve at least established an initial connection by way of a smile, glance, nod or wave. This isn’t absolutely necessary but might improve your chances of pulling off the lines.

Benefits of Using Funny Dirty Pickup Lines:

  • Instant Ice Breaker: Funny pickup lines are a surefire way to break the ice and get a conversation rolling. They serve as an immediate conversation starter, diffusing any initial awkwardness.
  • Memorable First Impressions: A good laugh can be a lasting memory. Using humor in your approach makes you memorable and helps you stand out from the crowd.
  • Show Your Playful Side: Funny pickup lines convey your playful and lighthearted personality. They indicate that you’re not taking yourself too seriously, which is attractive in itself.
  • Evoke Smiles and Laughter: Laughter is the universal language of connection. When you make someone laugh, you’re more likely to establish a positive rapport.
  • Easy Conversation Transition: After delivering a funny pickup line, it’s natural to transition into a more meaningful conversation. You’ve already established a connection, making it easier to get to know each other.

 

What if your funny pickup line falls flat?

Well, not every line can be a home run, and that’s okay. Here’s how to handle the situation gracefully:

  • Acknowledge the Playfulness: If your line didn’t quite land, acknowledge the humor in the situation. Say something like, “Well, that didn’t work as planned, did it? Let’s try this again.”
  • Transition Smoothly: Use the opportunity to transition into a different topic. You can ask about their day, compliment something about them, or simply introduce yourself.
  • Self-Deprecating Humor: Self-deprecating humor can be endearing. You can say, “I guess I need to work on my pickup lines, huh?” This shows humility and a sense of humor about yourself.
  • Don’t Dwell on It: Don’t dwell on the unsuccessful line. Keep the conversation flowing, and remember that not every encounter will go perfectly.

Now, let's tickle your funny bone with The Best Dirty Pickup Lines:

The Finger 
(Use index finger to call someone over and then say) I made you come with one finger, imagine what I could do with my whole hand.

Nice dress 
Nice dress! It would look even better in a crumpled heap on my bedroom floor.

Lost Keys 
I lost my keys. Can I check your underwear?

Mind Reader
I’m a mind reader and yes, I will sleep with you.

Beautiful Smile
That’s a beautiful smile but it’d look even better if it were all you were wearing.

Weatherman
I’m no weatherman but you can expect more than a few inches tonight.

Doctor
You must be a doctor! You just cured my erectile dysfunction.

Time Machine
Do you want to come to my time machine? We stop somewhere between 68 and 70.

Love Your Shirt
I love your shirt, can I try it on in the morning?

Nice Dress
Nice dress. Can I talk you out of it?

Burn Calories
I know a great way to burn off the calories in that drink.

Great Dress
Great dress. I’m sorry I’ll have to rip it apart.

Drill Sergent
Are you a drill sergeant? Because you have my privates standing at attention.

Sweet Ass
Did you sit in a pile of sugar? ‘Cause you have a pretty sweet ass.

Bedrock
I’m no Fred Flintstone, but I can make your bed rock.

Astronaut
I’m an astronaut and my next mission is to explore Uranus.

Job Opening
I came here for a job. Do you have an opening I could fill?

Vacuum My Lap
Someone vacuum my lap, I think you need a clean place to sit.

Fuck Me If I’m Wrong
Fuck me if I’m wrong, but isn’t your name Laura?

Earmuffs
Hey Baby! I’d like to use your thighs as earmuffs.

Go Halves
Hey cutie, wanna go halves on a baby?

Call Me Cake
You can call me cake, cause I’ll go straight to your ass.

Pudding
Do you like pudding? Cause I’ll be pudding this dick in your ass.

Uranus
There will only be 7 planets left after I destroy Uranus.

Dragon
I hope you like dragons, because I’ll be dragon my balls across your face tonight.

Your Bed
I love my bed but I’d rather be in yours.

Firefighter
Baby, I’m like a firefighter, I find you hot and leave you wet!

Pain in the Ass
If I’m a pain in your ass, We can just add more lubricants.

Elevator
If you were an elevator, what button would I have to push to get you to go down?

Hung Like a Tictac
I’m hung like a tic tac. Wanna freshen your breath?

Play Doctor
Forget Playing doctor. That’s for kids! Let’s play gynecologist.

Play Army
Let’s play army. I’ll lay down and you can blow the hell out of me.

Weed
Do you smoke pot? Because weed be great together.

Windex
Do you wash your panties with Windex? Because I can really see myself in them.

STD
Do you need a stud in your life? Cause I got the STD and all I need is U.

Disney Land
If you thought Disneyland was the happiest place on earth, you haven’t been to my bedroom yet!

AIDS
If I had AIDS, would you have sex with me? [No] Well, I don’t, so let’s go.

Sex With Strangers
Excuse me, but do you have sex with strangers? [No] Well then, allow me to introduce myself.

Dress Looks Great
That dress looks great on you, as a matter of fact, so would I.

Party Invite
Let’s have a party and invite your pants to come on down.

Italian In You
Do you have any Italian in you? Would you like some?

Santa’s List
Will you help me get on Santa’s naughty list this year?

Gave Me a Raise
Are you my new boss? Because you just gave me a raise.

206 Bones
There are 206 bones in the human body. How would you like one more?

Are You a Nurse
Are you a nurse? I have a throbbing sensation between my legs that needs to be looked at.

Judge
If I was the judge, I’d sentence you to my bed.

We Are What We Eat
If it’s true what they say and we are what we eat, then I could be you by morning.

Staring Boobs
Tell your boobs to stop staring at my eyes.

Medusa
You must be Medusa because you make me rock hard.

Take Clothes Off
Your clothes are making me uncomfortable; please take them off.

Pink Nipples
I bet your nipples are pink. Mind if I take a look?

Titanic
Let’s play Titanic. You’ll be the iceberg, and I’ll go down.

Pinky Toe
You’re like my pinky toe, I’m gonna bang you on every piece of furniture in my home.

Winter
Is your name winter? Because you’ll be coming soon.

Play Carpenter
Let’s play carpenter. First we’ll get hammered, then I’ll nail you.

Archaeologist
Are you an archaeologist? Because I’ve got a bone for you to examine.

Osteoporosis
Is your name Osteoporosis? Because you’re giving me a serious bone condition.

Bed With You
I think I could fall madly in bed with you.

Pants Are Falling
You’re so hot, even my pants are falling for you!

Humpback
Do you like whales? Cause we can go hump back at my place.

Scarface
You remind me of the movie “Scarface” cause I want you to say hello to my little friend.

Booty Calling
Do you have a phone in your back pocket? Because your booty is calling me.

Elevator
Are you an elevator? Cause I wanna go down on you.

Plug In You Socket
Let me insert my plug into your socket and we can generate some electricity.

Go To My Room
You have been very naughty. Go to my room!

Guess Jeans
Are those jeans Guess? Cause guess who wants to be inside them…

Cialis
Hey there, I just took some Cialis and I have 18 hours left.

Like To Do Anal
Judging by your hair, you seem like a girl who likes to do anal.

Name to Go With The Face
Excuse me, I am about to go masturbate and needed a name to go with the face.

Might as Well Be There
I’m gonna have sex with you tonight so, you might as well be there.

Job For You
I have a job for you, but it blows!

Ass Digger
Do you have a shovel? Cause I’m diggin’ that ass!

Place to Sit
As long as I have a face, you’ll have a place to sit.

Mountain Dew
Do you like soda? Because I’d love to mount-and-do you. (Mountain Dew)

Hot in Here
Is it hot in here, or are your boobs just huge.

Remember My Name
Remember my name, because you’ll be screaming it later!

Nice Shoes
Nice shoes, wanna fuck?

Nice Socks
Nice socks. Can I try them on after we have sex?

Chris Brown
Call me Chris Brown, cause I’d hit that!

Cat Whisperer
They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what that pussy needs.

Are You Jewish
Are you Jewish? Cause the way you’re looking at me, I’m beginning to think Jewish this dick was in your mouth.

Best Dirty Pickup Lines For Her

  1. Santa’s List

Will you help me get on Santa’s naughty list this year?

 

  1. Take Clothes Off

Your clothes are making me uncomfortable; please take them off.

 

  1. Titanic

Let’s play Titanic. You’ll be the iceberg, and I’ll go down.

 

  1. Pinky Toe

You’re like my pinky toe, I’m gonna bang you on every piece of furniture in my home.

 

  1. Winter

Is your name winter? Because you’ll be coming soon.

 

  1. Fuck Me If I’m Wrong

Fuck me if I’m wrong, but isn’t your name Walter?

 

  1. Go Halves

Hey cutie, wanna go halves on a baby?

 

  1. Your Bed

I love my bed but I’d rather be in yours.

 

  1. Elevator

If you were an elevator, what button would I have to push to get you to go down?

 

  1. Weed

Do you smoke pot? Because weed be great together.

 

  1. Disney Land

If you thought Disneyland was the happiest place on earth, you haven’t been to my bedroom yet!

 

  1. Sex With Strangers

Excuse me, but do you have sex with strangers? [No] Well then, allow me to introduce myself.

 

  1. Shirt Looks Great

That shirt looks great on you, as a matter of fact, so would I.

 

  1. Party Invite

Let’s have a party and invite your pants to come on down.

 

  1. Bed With You

I think I could fall madly in bed with you.

 

  1. Elevator

Are you an elevator? Cause I wanna go down on you.

 

  1. Go To My Room

You have been very naughty. Go to my room!

 

  1. Name to Go With The Face

Excuse me, I am about to go masturbate and needed a name to go with the face.

 

  1. Might as Well Be There

I’m gonna have sex with you tonight so, you might as well be there.

 

  1. Mountain Dew

Do you like soda? Because I’d love to mount-and-do you. 

 

  1. Remember My Name

Remember my name, because you’ll be screaming it later!

 

  1. Nice Shoes

Nice shoes, wanna fuck?

 

  1. Nice Shirt

Nice shirt. Can I try them on after we have sex?

 

  1. Go Down in History

 I may not go down in history, but I will go down on you.

 

  1. Wanna See a Movie?

Want to see a movie or do you want to make one?

 

  1. I’m Lost

I’m lost, can I get directions to you bedroom?

 

  1. Afraid of the Dark

I’m afraid of the dark. Could you sleep with me tonight?

 

  1.  If I Were You

You know, if I were you, I’d have sex with me.

 

  1. Big Sale

There’s a big sale in my bedroom right now. Clothes are 100% off!

 

  1.  Sign For Package

Do I have to sign for your package?

 

Best Dirty Pickup Lines For Him

  1. Nice dress 

Nice dress! It would look even better in a crumpled heap on my bedroom floor.

 

  1. Lost Keys 

I lost my keys. Can I check your underwear?

 

  1. Mind Reader

I’m a mind reader and yes, I will sleep with you.

 

  1. Beautiful Smile

That’s a beautiful smile but it’d look even better if it were all you were wearing.

 

  1. Weatherman

I’m no weatherman but you can expect more than a few inches tonight.

 

  1. Doctor

You must be a doctor! You just cured my erectile dysfunction.

 

  1. Burn Calories

I know a great way to burn off the calories in that drink.

 

  1. Sweet Ass

Did you sit in a pile of sugar? ‘Cause you have a pretty sweet ass.

 

  1. Gave Me a Raise

Are you my new boss? Because you just gave me a raise.

 

  1. 206 Bones

There are 206 bones in the human body. How would you like one more?

 

  1. Are You a Nurse

Are you a nurse? I have a throbbing sensation between my legs that needs to be looked at.

 

  1. Titanic

Let’s play Titanic. You’ll be the iceberg, and I’ll go down.

 

  1. Pinky Toe

You’re like my pinky toe, I’m gonna bang you on every piece of furniture in my home.

 

  1. Winter

Is your name winter? Because you’ll be coming soon.

 

  1. Play Carpenter

Let’s play carpenter. First we’ll get hammered, then I’ll nail you.

 

  1. Archaeologist

Are you an archaeologist? Because I’ve got a bone for you to examine.

 

  1. Job Opening

I came here for a job. Do you have an opening I could fill?

 

  1. Vacuum My Lap

Someone vacuum my lap, I think you need a clean place to sit.

 

  1. Fuck Me If I’m Wrong

Fuck me if I’m wrong, but isn’t your name Laura?

 

  1. Go Halves

Hey cutie, wanna go halves on a baby?

 

  1. Call Me Cake

You can call me cake, cause I’ll go straight to your ass.

 

  1. Pudding

Do you like pudding? Cause I’ll be pudding this dick in your ass.

 

  1. Uranus

There will only be 7 planets left after I destroy Uranus.

 

  1. Dragon

I hope you like dragons, because I’ll be dragon my balls across your face tonight.

 

  1. Your Bed

I love my bed but I’d rather be in yours.

 

  1. Firefighter

Baby, I’m like a firefighter, I find you hot and leave you wet!

 

  1. Pain in the Ass

If I’m a pain in your ass, We can just add more lubricants.

 

  1. Elevator

If you were an elevator, what button would I have to push to get you to go down?

 

  1. Hung Like a Tic Tac

I’m hung like a tic tac. Wanna freshen your breath?

 

  1. Play Doctor

Forget Playing doctor. That’s for kids! Let’s play gynecologist.

 

  1. Play Army

Let’s play army. I’ll lay down and you can blow the hell out of me.

 

  1. Weed

Do you smoke pot? Because weed be great together.

 

  1. Windex

Do you wash your panties with Windex? Because I can really see myself in them.

 

  1. Disney Land

If you thought Disneyland was the happiest place on earth, you haven’t been to my bedroom yet!

 

  1. AIDS

If I had AIDS, would you have sex with me? [No] Well, I don’t, so let’s go.

 

  1. Sex With Strangers

Excuse me, but do you have sex with strangers? [No] Well then, allow me to introduce myself.

 

  1. Dress Looks Great

That dress looks great on you, as a matter of fact, so would I.

 

  1. Party Invite

Let’s have a party and invite your pants to come on down.

 

  1. Italian In You

Do you have any Italian in you? Would you like some?

 

  1. Osteoporosis

Is your name Osteoporosis? Because you’re giving me a serious bone condition.

 

  1. Bed With You

I think I could fall madly in bed with you.

 

  1. Pants Are Falling

You’re so hot, even my pants are falling for you!

 

  1. Humpback

Do you like whales? Cause we can go hump back at my place.

 

  1. Scarface

You remind me of the movie “Scarface” cause I want you to say hello to my little friend.

 

  1. Booty Calling

Do you have a phone in your back pocket? Because your booty is calling me.

 

  1. Elevator

Are you an elevator? Cause I wanna go down on you.

 

  1. Go To My Room

You have been very naughty. Go to my room!

 

  1. Guess Jeans

Are those jeans Guess? Cause guess who wants to be inside them…

 

47. Cialis

Hey there, I just took some Cialis and I have 18 hours left.

 

48. Like To Do Anal

Judging by your hair, you seem like a girl who likes to do anal.

 

  1. Name to Go With The Face

Excuse me, I am about to go masturbate and needed a name to go with the face.

 

  1. Might as Well Be There

I’m gonna have sex with you tonight so, you might as well be there.

 

  1. Job For You

I have a job for you, but it blows!

 

  1. Ass Digger

Do you have a shovel? Cause I’m diggin’ that ass!

 

  1. Place to Sit

As long as I have a face, you’ll have a place to sit.

 

  1. Mountain Dew

Do you like soda? Because I’d love to mount-and-do you. 

 

  1. Remember My Name

Remember my name, because you’ll be screaming it later!

 

  1. Nice Shoes

Nice shoes, wanna fuck?

 

  1. Cat Whisperer

They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what that pussy needs.

 

  1. Are You Jewish

 

Are you jewish? Cause the way you’re looking at me, I’m beginning to think Jewish this dick was in your mouth.

 

Remember, the key to successfully using funny pickup lines is delivery and confidence. Be genuine, be yourself, and don’t be afraid to embrace the playful side of socializing. And most importantly, enjoy the process of meeting new people and sharing a laugh or two along the way.

In conclusion, funny pickup lines are a fantastic way to break the ice, make memorable first impressions, and connect with others on a lighthearted level. Even if your lines don’t always hit the mark, the willingness to be playful and engage in humor can go a long way in building meaningful connections. So, go ahead, give it a try, and may your journey to meeting people be filled with laughter and delightful surprises!

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